Disappointed with self.....

It seems that the scale doesn't like me.... well, i don't like me is more like it.

The weight I worked so hard to lose in my process-- is back. Not all of it, but 10# or more.

ICK!

It is frustrating.... and it is my fault. I have slacked off on my diligence.... and I have been stressing about stability. Instead of using my running, hiking, swimming, etc, to decompress, I have been catching up on stuff.....

My schedule is all over the place, and I am tired, and I am not doing all the things I had set out to do.... and I am frustrated with myself. I am not accomplishing those things I set out to.... and my training is suffering..... and the weight is back, as I am not training as I should be.

The beginning of my 100-day challenge (the first 30 days) has essentially been a wash. BAD.

So, instead of beating myself up more.... I am picking myself up by the boot straps and stepping forward. My goal is to weigh 180# by the end of this year. It is a goal of a little over 20# to lose... which doesn't seem like a lot, but it has been a struggle to get there.

When I get there, I will see what happens.

Back in the game. Working hard to make it come together. Seeking to be a size 8 or 10... instead of where I currently am. Seeking to be able to run the half-mary comfortably and swim indefinitely-- there are many adventures here on the south coast of Massachusetts that I want to take.... and do not want to use my impression of self to stop me. I want to overcome these barriers.