And yesterday, I was essentially told to pound sand. My response...... Blah, blah, blah..... And probably immaturely vented in a not so appropriate place. I did not say anything destructive, and the feelings were reflected on me, in response to their actions. So, I dare say, I was safe for the most part.
And the big picture, I am frustrated because they are looking at details so finitely, they are missing the big picture. The picture I am trying to paint.
And this morning, my devotional was about Paul and the dynamics of the friendship of Onesiphorus. And the question was posed, are you a negative person or a refreshing person?
BAM! Thank you, God, for reminding me why I am here. Thank you for teaching me that while I am struggling, I need to be thankful. That it is not all about me. And my attitude influences many people.
I too need to stop focusing on the details, and look at the big picture. I too need to remember I am a servant.
You can easily spot a VDP, but rarely see one in the mirror. VDP stands for “Very Draining Person.” They exhibit repetitive negative, pessimistic, complaining, and “life sucking” behaviors. They criticize, complain, whine, make excuses and find faults. Their words are laced with destruction, and they spew their poison on anyone who dares to listen.
The opposite of a VDP is a VRP or “Very Refreshing People.” Large numbers of faith-filled, positive, right-living, energized Very Refreshing People are needed to combat the devastating effects of Very Draining People. They speak words of life into the ordinary and transform it. They re-fill your energy tanks – emotionally, relationally, and spiritually. They breathe encouragement, blessing, and hope into your soul and remind you that nothing is impossible with God.
In the Bible, Onesiphorus was a VRP. He brought hope and healing to Paul. In fact, his name actually means “to bring help or profit-bearing.” From Onesiphorus’ example in 2 Timothy 1:16-17, we learn three key characteristics of a VRP that we can apply as fathers and sons:
- Refreshment is Repeated.
Paul writes, “he often refreshed me.” This was not a one and done refreshment, but Onesiphorus poured out encouragement time and time again. Refreshing needs to be regular and repeated.
- Refreshment is Risky.
Paul says that Onesiphorus “was not ashamed of my chains.” He was willing to associate himself with Paul’s sufferings in prison. We need to step out of our comfort zone to refresh others! Refreshing others is often risky. Onesiphorus brought encouragement and hope.
- Refreshment is Relentless.
Onesiphorus “searched hard” for Paul. He was relentless to find his friend and refused to stop until he “found him.” Onesiphorus did whatever it took to bring a big dose of refreshment to Paul. VRPs are persistent and tenacious.
Fathers need to set the standard for their sons. Your words can unlock God’s greatness in your son. You need to be committed to infusing life into him through your intentional words of nourishment. Let him feast off your encouragement. Become a VRP for each other because when you are refreshing, you are a blessing.
- If we asked our friends or family members, which one would would they say we are? Why?
- On a scale of 1-10 (10 being a refresher and 1 being a drainer), rank yourself. Rank each other.
- Do you see areas to refresh your son? Your father? Write those down and begin to breathe refreshment and blessing into each other’s lives.