Drama....

I was told we create our own drama.... i agree and disagree. There are dramatic situations, which we did not start, that are draining, which we have no control over.... I guess if we reacted poorly, that would be our drama.

Yesterday, was one such day. I am teaching swim lessons for a local swim club. The club has not yet processed my direct deposit. So, I need to wait for the paper check to be mailed to me. Perfectly acceptable, since this is how it is done. I can be patient.

Payday was the 15th, which was a Sunday and Monday was a holiday. No indication of alternate arrangements with the payday, were made. (But I expected this, and anticipated receiving the check by friday, 20th). Friday came and went, no check. Saturday, a snow storm, and still no check.

OK.... It has to be here Monday. I need this money.... the JEEP is running on less than a quarter tank and I have to voyage to Rhode Island tonight to teach. Off to teach AquaFit, and then to check the mail (on the way to the mailbox, I put my last $4 in the JEEP to get home)..... AND, no check. NO CHECK. How could someone not mail my check???

After a go-around with my immediate supervisor, as I was clearly not going to be able to drive 50-miles, she ended up providing me 'aggravation money' and gas in my JEEP. She was equally frustrated. This was ridiculous.... and of course, the person responsible for payroll was unavailable for calls or text messages at this point.

This is really scary. I would like to eat. I would like to buy cat food. I would like to pay a bill or two. And my employer has yet to mail the check. The end of the next pay period is Saturday..... hopefully, I will receive my check by then. In the mean-time, I have begun the search for more gainful employment and am working on expanding my clientele..... as I cannot be delinquent in my responsibilities, because someone doesn't seem to care about putting a stamp on a check and mailing it.

Insanity

The definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results.

I recently was in association with a group of individuals, who under the guise of making changes and needing support were acting insanely. I am not judging.... but it seems that at times we (myself included) behave insanely, in attempts to make the changes.

It is at these times that I need to stop the madness and take pause and stop and listen and the answer comes to me. It is at times like these that I need to do something different to break the cycle of insanity.

Courage is necessary to break the cycle of insanity. Courage to step forward and try something different; to look in the face of failure and challenge oneself to do it differently, to make the change that is necessary.

Courage.

And a little help from friends..... keeping in mind, that we cannot dictate the direction or means that the help is given. Sometimes, it comes in the form of a reprimand. Sometimes, a hug. Sometimes that still calm voice. I keep learning that if it is something I don't want to hear... it is probably is what I need to hear. I am also learning that I need to separate myself from people who are overly dramatic, and clearly are self-serving in their motives.

As for that group of individuals... i do hope they individually and collectively break the cycle of insanity. I do hope they achieve their goals. I do hope they realize that in their quest for creating a supportive group, extended none.... as they wanted only support for themselves, and offered none to someone whose goals were different from their own.

Best.

I don't want to be....

The type of woman who accepts failure, or makes excuses for my failures, or surrounds myself with people who make me feel good because I am failing under the guise of support.....

I want to face my failures and learn from them.

I want to have people in my life who support me, but help me face my failures, so that I step forward to be better and am challenged in doing so.

I expect my friends to challenge my beliefs and correct my illusions and thinking... showing me different thoughts to expand my parameters.

I want to be better. I expect my people to be better and continue to move onward and upward.

And so I fasted....

I have been working on this on Wednesday evenings and Sundays.

This has been a struggle, until yesterday.... well, maybe not a struggle.... but i seem to be able to find excuses to eat. Granted, I eat when I am hungry.

Normally on Wednesdays, I teach swim lessons in the evening and because I am in COLD water, I am HUNGRY when I get out of the pool. Yesterday, my strategy was different. I ensured I had water available throughout the day. I was certain I was properly hydrated. AND I ate my 'lunch' later in the day.... partially because I had an on-line chatter session, and partially because I wasn't hungry. In doing so, I wasn't hungry in the evening. I did, however, drink a cup of mocha coffee after swim lessons.... I was cold.

And this morning, I woke feeling tired because of the early hour. I did not feel hungry. I drank water, and went to teach spin. After class, I enjoyed breakfast.... an two-egg omelette, with feta cheese, olives, slivered almonds and spinach. I feel great.

And BTW, I dropped two pounds since my last weigh in.

Morning Run....

Most difficult run EVER..... partially, because my running the last two weeks has been less than consistent. And I was tired. I taught a spin class last night, and did something to my calf.... which reminded me of that, this morning as I was pounding the pavement.

Also, I decided to interject the 'aerobic' portion of my resistance training protocol into the scheduled 3 mile run. So, after my warm-up I did fartlek, meaning 12 x 30 sec hard runs interspersed in 25 minutes. Let's just say, this kicked my butt.... and I found the need to walk in the recovery... and SO, i did.

I did however get a compliment on my new kicks.... the Asics Gel-Noosa Tri 6, in Neon Yellow, Glow White and HOT Pink of course. I guess I have to run fast now.

Scale down 1#. Nothing significant.... as I am playing this game 1 down, 1 up, well, you know!

Flight 2012

Welcome to Flight #2012.

We are prepared to take off into the New Year.

Please make sure your Attitude and Blessings are secured and locked in, in the upright position.

All self-destructive devices should be turned off at this time.

All negativity, hurt, and discouragement should be put away.

Should we lose altitude under pressure, during the flight, reach up and pull down a Prayer!

Prayers will automatically be activated by Faith.

Once your Faith is activated you can assist other passengers.

There will be NO BAGGAGE allowed on this flight.

The Captain has cleared us for takeoff --Destination - GREATNESS!!

Spin....

So, this week..... I managed to 'over-book' my teaching.

I taught spin last night, and then this morning.... Will teach tomorrow morning and then friday evening. WOW. This is above and beyond my normal training.

I am glad that I enjoy this class.... and I teach on and off the bike, moving and changing positions, ensuring my participants are safe.

Boundaries....

I totally get I am not perfect physically. I get I am not as fit as I would like to be.

I was training today..... did some med ball work, skips, mini-bands, as well as some weights....

I was minding my business.... doing my thing. I had a cool conversation with these basketball players, I was doing my thing.

AND......

this older gentleman approaches me.....

'I don't want you to take this the wrong way, but the best way to lose weight is 'weight watchers'... I noticed you were looking at yourself in the mirror, and I lost 65# following them.'

WOW. All I could think was wow....

What do you say to that????

He went on to tell me he noticed that I wasn't consistent in my workouts. (I workout there the two days/week, I work there). AND greater consistency might help me achieve my goals as well.

DOUBLE WOW.

All kinds of thoughts......

I smiled... And said, if I am seeking a program, I will keep that in mind, but the truth is I am preparing for the triathlon season... any extra body fat I am carrying now, will be gone as my volume increases.

I was just utterly astounded that someone would be so brazen, so rude, so disrespectful of boundaries.... he doesn't know me, he isn't even a personal trainer seeking business....

and then I was like, do I look that bad?????

Unbelievable.

But it was a reminder to me.... in my work, to respect people's boundaries. Share what I do, and permit the person time to processing.

How was your training today?

Today....

Say, YES to things that are totally out of your comfort zone.

This is your life!

What are you waiting for?

Well.....

I didn't make the whole day. I was unreasonably hungry at 6.30pm.... After a cup of coffee, and a half liter of water, the experience was worse.... so, i broke down and had some vegetables. Just enough to satisfy. I feel great.

Tomorrow... three miles, and 'regular' eating.

Today, I fast

Today, is a fast day.

Breakfast.... a two-egg omelette, with grape tomatoes, and sliced Jarlsberg cheese and two clementines on the side. I am now enjoying a cup of coffee, and am looking forward to my run in a bit.

I am scheduled to do a 90-minute run.

I might have some protein powder mixed in apple sauce after my run, but I will see.

Does 'dieting' really work???

I was invited to a group (a virtual group through facebook) to promote lifestyle changes in 2012.... Several of the women are on weight watchers, and are consumed with counting points...

One woman indicated that she was starting again.... as when she stops measuring and counting and eating responsibly she put it all back on (with interest)... And as I was reading her post, I really thought.... is this working??? Does one have to count points for the rest of their lives, or are they learning something through this program??? And we see it all the time.... lose weight, gain weight, lose some more weight... gain it all back. Starting where we began.

What stops the madness?? What creates a new lifestyle? What creates a new 'you?'

And I keep coming back to the 'primal lifestyle'... the Spartan or Warrior way.....

I am in the midst of a 21-Day total body transformation... I am not naive and expect to have a completely new body in 21 days.... I am following a blueprint that is the beginning of adopting new habits, changing the old ones... things that I know work for me....

Eating more fruits and veggies.

Eating lean meats and fish... mostly fish.

Eating nuts.

Eliminating the gluten.... and the grains.

Enjoying long walks and exploring, challenging myself to run and jump and hop and skip.

Giving myself plenty of rest.

I feel better. I look better. And I enjoy this lifestyle.

I want to take a cooking class, to learn more about fish preparation..... since I am living on the coast and can 'catch' my own fish... I want to know how to prepare it, so I will take advantage of this.

I will keep you posted on the 21-day transformation, as I am seizing this year.

My skin is itchy....

I have been teaching swim lessons.... and the result, I am spending more time immersed in chlorinated water... and my skin is itchy.

Since I have eliminated the gluten and the grains.... I have lost that bloated feeling I get, especially during the hormonal fluctuations.

I taught swim this morning, and I was in the water 2.5 hours....

The result: I was freezing after classes. It takes forever to warm up!!!

And now, my skin is itchy.... I will need to moisturize again, and hope for the best.

6 January.....

It is now Friday!!!

This week took off like a whirl-wind.... and I was along for the ride!!!!

Two spin classes taught, one participated. Runs. And a swim!!!

This morning, I slept.

I woke to snow. It looked like someone had had fun with an air brush and sprayed the ground.

I feel good. A little tired b/c of the up late, out early routine that has been adopted, and the split shifts as I am adopting new work routines.

Eating feels good. I was 'craving' asian food... and so I bought wonton soup... the place i buy it from puts kale leaves and pork strips in the broth, so the soup is amazing with or without the wontons... which sometimes, i cannot be bothered with.... and beef with broccoli. It was perfectly steamed, and seasoned lightly.... and I ate it without the rice. (Granted they give you enough food for three or four people.... so, I had several meals through the week).

Swim lessons... i wish the pools would turn up the heat a little bit. If I am teaching lessons and shivering.... what are the kids doing that are taking the lessons??? It is way not cool.

Run Number One....

This morning.... I wasn't prepared. I wasn't ready to start the week.... I was still enjoying the peace and rest of the previous week. And the result, I was running around like a chicken with my head cut off..... I didn't plan ahead last night; I didn't pack my bag.

And so.... I arrived at the YMCA. I left my sneakers in the car. I forgot my training journal.

I didn't feel like going back to the Jeep. Horrible.

I came home and ate and rested and I debated, and I seized the moment.....

And I ran. The first 5K of the year is now under my belt.

Tomorrow.... I will do better. Tomorrow.... I will be better prepared.

Tomorrow..... I am running and swimming.

January 2

How much happiness is gained, and how much misery escaped, by frequent and violent agitation of the body. -- Samuel Johnson

The main goal of running is not to finish first, or run faster than you ever have before, or beat your competitors, although any one of these can be, at times, a very worthy goal.

The main goal of running is to enjoy yourself. Whenever you run, keep that in mind.

There is one indisputable rule of the roads: If you do not enjoy running, you will not run. If you do not run, you will not reap any benefits from it.

Everything starts with fun, a sense of play. Lacking that, all is lost. Though runners often work desperately hard at it, most love what do and get an elemental charge from it. To borrow a line, at the heart of every runner is a little boy or girl.

Inevitably some days seem more like work than pleasure. When this occurs, ask yourself, Are you focusing too much on the duty and routine, times and mileage? Every day is a good day when you run. Remember that, and you'll be fine.

*From The Runner's Book of Daily Inspiration*

Today, my running resumes. I have struggled the past week recovering from being sick, and I have missed running. I love the feeling of pushing myself to run faster; I love the ability to be outside, regardless of the weather. I love the sun and the rain, and I love running in each of those. I love running in the snow.

This morning.... I redirected my 21 day challenge. I recommenced the 21 days today. The month of January will be focused on and directed to challenging myself to be the best I can be.

And today, begins the new adventure.

Starting the New Year right....

This morning.....

I managed to clip my shin just right on the corner of my cedar chest!! YAY!!! Taking one for the team.... and it really, really, really hurt.... Well, I just thought that it was because I hit it just so... AND THEN, I looked at my leg. I took a big chunk out of my shin. OUCH!!!!

Yay!!! My first bump of 2012!!!

And then I weighed in after eating breakfast and drinking lots of fluids, so the results might be skewed... but I am up 2# after being sick. I don't think I am going to gain any more back. I will take it. I feel good. And I am continuing my goals for 2012.

I then went to Gooseberry Island, in Westport. There was a walking tour of the island. I ended up walking the island by myself.... LOL. But alas it was a beautiful day and a great day to be walking and smelling the salt air and enjoying/celebrating life.

How did your New Year's begin?