Drama....

I was told we create our own drama.... i agree and disagree. There are dramatic situations, which we did not start, that are draining, which we have no control over.... I guess if we reacted poorly, that would be our drama.

Yesterday, was one such day. I am teaching swim lessons for a local swim club. The club has not yet processed my direct deposit. So, I need to wait for the paper check to be mailed to me. Perfectly acceptable, since this is how it is done. I can be patient.

Payday was the 15th, which was a Sunday and Monday was a holiday. No indication of alternate arrangements with the payday, were made. (But I expected this, and anticipated receiving the check by friday, 20th). Friday came and went, no check. Saturday, a snow storm, and still no check.

OK.... It has to be here Monday. I need this money.... the JEEP is running on less than a quarter tank and I have to voyage to Rhode Island tonight to teach. Off to teach AquaFit, and then to check the mail (on the way to the mailbox, I put my last $4 in the JEEP to get home)..... AND, no check. NO CHECK. How could someone not mail my check???

After a go-around with my immediate supervisor, as I was clearly not going to be able to drive 50-miles, she ended up providing me 'aggravation money' and gas in my JEEP. She was equally frustrated. This was ridiculous.... and of course, the person responsible for payroll was unavailable for calls or text messages at this point.

This is really scary. I would like to eat. I would like to buy cat food. I would like to pay a bill or two. And my employer has yet to mail the check. The end of the next pay period is Saturday..... hopefully, I will receive my check by then. In the mean-time, I have begun the search for more gainful employment and am working on expanding my clientele..... as I cannot be delinquent in my responsibilities, because someone doesn't seem to care about putting a stamp on a check and mailing it.

Insanity

The definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results.

I recently was in association with a group of individuals, who under the guise of making changes and needing support were acting insanely. I am not judging.... but it seems that at times we (myself included) behave insanely, in attempts to make the changes.

It is at these times that I need to stop the madness and take pause and stop and listen and the answer comes to me. It is at times like these that I need to do something different to break the cycle of insanity.

Courage is necessary to break the cycle of insanity. Courage to step forward and try something different; to look in the face of failure and challenge oneself to do it differently, to make the change that is necessary.

Courage.

And a little help from friends..... keeping in mind, that we cannot dictate the direction or means that the help is given. Sometimes, it comes in the form of a reprimand. Sometimes, a hug. Sometimes that still calm voice. I keep learning that if it is something I don't want to hear... it is probably is what I need to hear. I am also learning that I need to separate myself from people who are overly dramatic, and clearly are self-serving in their motives.

As for that group of individuals... i do hope they individually and collectively break the cycle of insanity. I do hope they achieve their goals. I do hope they realize that in their quest for creating a supportive group, extended none.... as they wanted only support for themselves, and offered none to someone whose goals were different from their own.

Best.

I don't want to be....

The type of woman who accepts failure, or makes excuses for my failures, or surrounds myself with people who make me feel good because I am failing under the guise of support.....

I want to face my failures and learn from them.

I want to have people in my life who support me, but help me face my failures, so that I step forward to be better and am challenged in doing so.

I expect my friends to challenge my beliefs and correct my illusions and thinking... showing me different thoughts to expand my parameters.

I want to be better. I expect my people to be better and continue to move onward and upward.

And so I fasted....

I have been working on this on Wednesday evenings and Sundays.

This has been a struggle, until yesterday.... well, maybe not a struggle.... but i seem to be able to find excuses to eat. Granted, I eat when I am hungry.

Normally on Wednesdays, I teach swim lessons in the evening and because I am in COLD water, I am HUNGRY when I get out of the pool. Yesterday, my strategy was different. I ensured I had water available throughout the day. I was certain I was properly hydrated. AND I ate my 'lunch' later in the day.... partially because I had an on-line chatter session, and partially because I wasn't hungry. In doing so, I wasn't hungry in the evening. I did, however, drink a cup of mocha coffee after swim lessons.... I was cold.

And this morning, I woke feeling tired because of the early hour. I did not feel hungry. I drank water, and went to teach spin. After class, I enjoyed breakfast.... an two-egg omelette, with feta cheese, olives, slivered almonds and spinach. I feel great.

And BTW, I dropped two pounds since my last weigh in.

Morning Run....

Most difficult run EVER..... partially, because my running the last two weeks has been less than consistent. And I was tired. I taught a spin class last night, and did something to my calf.... which reminded me of that, this morning as I was pounding the pavement.

Also, I decided to interject the 'aerobic' portion of my resistance training protocol into the scheduled 3 mile run. So, after my warm-up I did fartlek, meaning 12 x 30 sec hard runs interspersed in 25 minutes. Let's just say, this kicked my butt.... and I found the need to walk in the recovery... and SO, i did.

I did however get a compliment on my new kicks.... the Asics Gel-Noosa Tri 6, in Neon Yellow, Glow White and HOT Pink of course. I guess I have to run fast now.

Scale down 1#. Nothing significant.... as I am playing this game 1 down, 1 up, well, you know!

Flight 2012

Welcome to Flight #2012.

We are prepared to take off into the New Year.

Please make sure your Attitude and Blessings are secured and locked in, in the upright position.

All self-destructive devices should be turned off at this time.

All negativity, hurt, and discouragement should be put away.

Should we lose altitude under pressure, during the flight, reach up and pull down a Prayer!

Prayers will automatically be activated by Faith.

Once your Faith is activated you can assist other passengers.

There will be NO BAGGAGE allowed on this flight.

The Captain has cleared us for takeoff --Destination - GREATNESS!!

Spin....

So, this week..... I managed to 'over-book' my teaching.

I taught spin last night, and then this morning.... Will teach tomorrow morning and then friday evening. WOW. This is above and beyond my normal training.

I am glad that I enjoy this class.... and I teach on and off the bike, moving and changing positions, ensuring my participants are safe.